(5:24 PM PST) Got here three hours late and without the characters for one of my games. Everyone’s looking daggers at me. I don’t blame them. Protip: Never stay out until 6 a.m. if you’ve got an early game the next day.
(5:36 PM PST) Bullshitting and buying stuff before the game. Idle speculation about a merchant who sells bundles of wands “as is”. I think a bargain bin of magic items would be awesome. (Interesting note: WordPress’ spellchecker recognizes “bullshitting”)
(5:39 PM PST) Tim’s still playing Star Trek Online. Why would you give a Federation ship a Norse name? A Klingon ship, yes. But a Feddie ship? No.
(5:44 PM PST) Now we’re bullshitting about Japanese video games. The exciting life of a geek!
(5:51 PM PST) I love these bull sessions before the game almost as much as the game.
(5:53 PM PST) Holy shit, we’re starting?
(6:01 PM PST) Shanoah spent a lot of time rewriting the dialogue. He says it’s easier to read it if he does. Personally, I think the dialogue that came with Pathfinder’s Beginner’s Box was embarrassingly cheesy. RPG authors can do plot, but they can’t do dialogue.
(6:04 PM PST) Rewards, Paizo! Give your Pathfinders rewards!
(6:06 PM PST) So we got our mission from the plot dispenser and are off to recover the MacGuffin of Destiny from the Anonymous Evil!
(6:10 PM PST) So the guys who occupied these ruins worshipped the Rune Lords, who are sort of associated with the Seven Deadly Sins. I understand the cult of the Hot Rune Lord of Lust was very popular…
(6:11 PM PST) Sin magic? WHERE DO I SIGN UP!
(6:13 PM PST) Uh oh, the miniatures are coming out…
(6:18 PM PST ) Mike is reminiscing about the familiars he had in other games. He had a Large earth elemental once. Yes, Ben Richards.
(6:20 PM PST) Slight delay cause by a miniatures mixup. Ass kickery shall commence soon.
(6:22 PM PST) Hologram! Whoa…
(6:30 PM PST) Well, the elven rogue screwed the pooch…
(6:31 PM PST) And the human cleric comes through and hacks the hologram! With Diplomacy! God, I love this guy…
(6:40 PM PST) Round two! FIGHT!
(6:44 PM PST) Love these Pathfinder condition cards with the goblins…
(6:46 PM PST) Perception checks, that’s never good…
(6:48 PM PST) Our first encounter with Paizo’s goblins!
(6:50 PM PST) So we’ve got the rogues up front and the tanks in back during the surprise round. Not good.
(6:53 PM PST) Shanoah’s first roll on that d20 was a 2. Almost everything after that has been in double digits.
(7:06 PM PST) I just went outside in short sleeves and bare feet… in February. Gods, but I love this town…
(7:09 PM PST) Slight bookkeeping delay… then ASS KICKING.
(7:14 PM PST) One of the goblins just took a full-strength magic missile and is still standing. Great…
(7:18 PM PST) A natural 1! And it’s not ours! Suck it, goblins!
(7:20 PM PST) Shanoah’s a lot more organized as a DM than I ever was.
(7:22 PM PST) Tim’s dwarf fighter is getting shot at again.
(7:25 PM PST) FINISH HIM, TIM. shhhhhhkkkh FATALITY.
(7:33 PM PST) The elven rogue gets her first kill of the night!
(7:37 PM PST) Love the sound effects we have for our own attacks. We sound like eight-year-olds, but less dignified.
(7:39 PM PST) Well, looks like the wolf-riding goblin leader is a spell-slinger, too. That’s just great.
(7:43 PM PST) “You don’t have to choose feats. You already have two feets.” It just gets funnier every time!
(7:49 PM PST) The human cleric and the dwarf fighter just got foomed.
(7: 52 PM PST) So I remembered to write down everything for the human cleric except his hit points. That’s kind of an important omission.
(7:58 PM PST) The elven rogue notches her second kill!
(8:00 PM PST) Shanoah forgot one of the goblin’s turn in initiative. It happens in these big fights.
(8:07 PM PST) Well now, the human cleric’s wounded and the goblin leader’s focusing all its attention on him. This is getting interesting.
(8:11 PM PST) Apparently Shanoah’s d20 is cursed. Not that I mind…
(8:16 PM PST) Oooo! The goblin leader’s down! A chance for me to show mercy and be all neutral good and shit!
(8:27 PM PST) Plot grenade! Shanoah didn’t expect me to question the goblin leader! w00t!
(8:32 PM PST) Well, we healed the goblins, made them promise not to attack the town that we came from and let them go. That was actually pretty cool.
(8:34 PM PST) “If a rule does not make sense, ignore it.” I LIKE that rule.
(8:37 PM PST) Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome, you’re welcome, NOW WHERE’S THE SWAG!
(8:41 PM PST) Shanoah’s turning into a good DM. He took my plot grenade completely in stride.
(8:58 PM PST) Just got three magic items from our plot dispenser.
(9:00 PM PST) Taking a post-game break here…
(9:04 PM PST) Extra XP for a “peaceful resolution”. You mean we actually benefit from acting like the good guys? Who woulda thunk it?
(9:12 PM PST) Well, Pathfinder’s done. Now we’re playing Elder Sign.
(9:18 PM PST) So Tim picked out the eldritch horror that we’re up against and… it’s Cthulhu! Great, Tim. Great. Thanks.
(9:26 PM PST) This Eldritch Sign game has more shit than a Christmas goose…
(9:33 PM PST) I’m losing sanity trying to comprehend these rules…
(9:40 PM PST) Okay, the rules are starting to make sense. That’s probably a bad thing.
(9:44 PM PST) Well, Shanoah’s taking the first turn.
(9:51 PM PST) Screwed up my first turn…
(9:53 PM PST) Tim and Shanoah succeeded on their turns.
(9:56 PM PST) Mike screwed up, too. He needed to roll three skulls with five dice. Didn’t get a one until the very last. Amazing.
(10:03 PM PST) I succeeded! Hooray! I’m useful!
(10:19 PM PST) So Elder Sign is just Yahtzee with some really creepy ambiance.
(10:29 PM PST) We are sucking so hard. But I guess that’s what happens to ordinary people who go up against cosmic horrors…
(10:39 PM PST) Sister Mary notches another kill! Daaaaaamn, she must be a slayer or somthing…
(10:42 PM PST) Look, just give me my webbed fingers and cultist robes and put me on the “Ia! Ia!” choir…
(10:57 PM PST) Well, it came down to the last die, but Sister Mary pulled it out! That’s three kills!
(11:10 PM PST) Two more kills, two more Elder Signs! I love nuns with guns!
(11:20 PM PST) Well, Cthulhu woke up, and he’s cranky.
(11:27 PM PST) And we defeated Cthulhu, with the power of cheating!
(11:32 PM PST) And if Sister Mary doesn’t get instant sainthood for this, she’s going to go to Rome and kick the Pope’s ass.
(11:33 PM PST) That house rule that Shanoah came up with made that last fight with Cthulhu way too easy. I’m not complaining, mind…
(11:38 PM PST) Well, we’re wrapping up here, so I’m going to do the same. This is Sister Mary, Holy Hostess with the Mostest, signing off.
(3:10 AM PST) A final thought. Cthulhu wasn’t actually doing anything to us. All our characters did was lose sanity because we couldn’t take his Cthulhu-ness. I’d hate to think that his final words were, “No, wait! I’ve come in peace with cures for all your diseases and aaaaaaaaaaaack…”